


Equilateral

by Lupiza



Category: This Means War (2012)
Genre: AU, Alternate Canon, Bisexuality, Coming Out, F/M, Friendship, Heterosexuality, Homosexuality, Love, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Romance, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-29
Updated: 2012-04-29
Packaged: 2017-11-04 12:11:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/393706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lupiza/pseuds/Lupiza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Triangles have three sides, and no two can stand alone. Fixing a fix-it. AU, FDR/Tuck/Lauren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Equilateral

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: _This Means War_ and all its characters are someone else's. If I could tell you exactly who, I'd be too busy hunting down the rights to write fic.
> 
> Edit: All the details that were wrong because I had to rely on my memory rather than the DVD have been corrected.
> 
>  
> 
> These ten linked drabbles were written after I decided that the ending of _This Means War_ – while great fun – felt a bit like a fix-it fanfic written by someone who wasn't comfortable with anything but a two-person het relationship, whereas every bit of subtext in the movie up until them screamed otherwise. So I played around and decided that the 'real' story was about the dynamics and social pressures relating to homosexuality, bisexuality and monogamy, and went something like this:

_i._  
Money fluttered down everywhere as Heinrich's parachute disappeared into the lights below. Tuck felt the ache in his lungs start to fade. "Bugger," he said. "We'll never get down there in time to follow him, will we?"

"At least we got the device back," said FDR, sounding just as winded. He glanced down at his ripped lapel and groaned. "Damn it. This was a new suit, too."

Tuck looked at him, eyes darting appreciatively over the entire outfit. "Don't worry, you look fine." He clapped FDR's shoulder and they turned to walk away. "Dinner?"

"You bet. My room or yours?"

 

 _ii._  
Katie tapped the steering wheel as she watched Tuck. "I've got a date tonight." 

"Ah." He glanced at his son, saw the bruise on his jaw and had to grip the car roof to keep from either hugging him or hunting down the bigger kid. He needed a distraction. "Same guy as last week?" 

It was just small talk, nonchalant. It was a mistake. Her eyes narrowed. "I only date one man at a time, Tuck. _One_ , remember? That little detail about loyalty you never could get a grip on?"

"Our wedding vows never said anything about-"

She drove off.

 

 _iii._  
"That's... Lauren-"

"Lauren _Scott_?"

"Lauren- Yeah, Scott. Huh."

"Huh."

Their eyes were fixed on each others' desks. Fingers tapped awkwardly. Silence reigned.

"You should-"

"No, you-"

"Really, it's no big deal."

"I've dated plenty of girls, you take her."

"I never even wanted a date. I'm working on commitment here, remember?" Tuck shook his head. "Look, you _rarely_ find a girl you really like."

FDR grimaced. "This is stupid, man. It wasn't even our idea to date girls instead of each other."

Tuck shrugged. "Nana was pretty sure that it'll be good for us."

"Well, Nana wants great-grandkids, doesn't she?"

 

 _iv._  
"So I packed up my entire life and moved here." Lauren shrugged, fiddling with her pizza crust. "A couple of weeks later an old boyfriend showed up and we had a chat over pizza-" FDR chuckled; Lauren grinned. "No really, pizza. Not kidding."

"Didn't think you were. More?"

She accepted the slice. "Thanks. So I got to thinking, maybe I'd made the wrong choice. And we kept meeting up, and it was fun. Great dates. But then Steve found out and dumped me for two-timing him."

He winced. "Ow."

"Yeah. Funny thing is, that's why my ex dumped me, too."

 

 _v._  
"You're picking _her_ over _me_." Tuck sounded incredulous – and hurt. "What happened to a gentleman's agreement?"

FDR rubbed his eyes – hard – and shook his head. "Look, man-"

"No. What _happened_?" Tuck demanded. "Why are you betraying me?"

"You're the one always going on about how you can't betray someone if you still love them – _you're_ the one who cheated on your wife."

"And you're the serial monogamist! 'Oh, come home with me, pretty girl, my boyfriend won't mind, and hey, maybe you'll be the one to finally make me straight!'" he mocked.

FDR glared. "So you're not backing off?"

"No."

 

 _vi._  
"Okay, flaws."

Trish pursed her lips impatiently. 

"FDR... I don't know; it's like he's never comfortable. I mean, he's smooth as glass but always sort of... concerned. About what everyone thinks of him."

"So he's vain as a peacock. Fascinating. I'm _dying_ here."

"Okay, okay." Lauren held up her hands and sighed. "No, not vain. It's... more subtle. Like he can't be completely himself in public. Like there's something shameful he wants to hide. But I like him anyway. I like them both." 

"You've got to choose, girl!"

Lauren dropped her head to the counter with a groan. "But _why_?"

 

 _vii._  
Joe _loved_ the product testing. He'd had a huge grin on his face all afternoon, and Tuck hadn't had so much fun in years. 

The only problem came when Lauren asked Joe to decide which of three plastic water guns they'd played with he would want to have himself – the one that shot furthest but broke easily, the sturdy one that was hard to pump, or the lightweight one that had to be refilled a lot.

He tried them all over and over again, but in the end he sat down miserably and stared at them. "They're _all_ great," he wailed.

 

 _viii._  
Lauren stared. "You _know_ each other."

"Well, uh-"

"We-"

"Not really..."

"Yes?"

She grit her teeth. "How long?"

"Erm, you mean... each other, or-?"

"Yes."

Tuck scratched his head awkwardly, hand bleeding. "We were sort of... dating, when we met you."

"But not really."

"Yes _really_."

FDR winced and glanced down. "Okay, we were." Lauren glared. "But I love you, I swear."

"So do I."

For a long moment she just stood there, seething. Then she turned and stalked away, out to Trish's car, climbed in and slammed the door behind her. "Drive."

"Whoa, what hap-?"

"They can't decide _either_!"

 

 _ix._  
The headlights shattered – the airbag ballooned – the car swerved – hit – flipped-

It was coming. It was _coming_. 

"Lauren!"

"Lauren!"

They were both there, on either side, guns in hand and bleeding and filthy and _CIA agents_ and reaching for her and oh God oh _God_ what now?

She loved them both. They both loved her. They loved each other. _How_ to-?

The car tumbled closer. She was frozen – couldn't decide, just _couldn't_. It was _coming_ -

Then two bodies hit her from either side. Arms grabbed, they twisted, rolled, and- 

Hit the ground, a tangle of limbs, all three together, safe.

 

 _x._  
The restaurant really hadn't understood this whole 'romantic candlelit dinner for three' thing (a square table, really?) but the champagne was good, as was the company, even if FDR was still bruised from Tuck punching him out of the plane. 

"I want to propose a toast," said Lauren, lifting her drink. "To indecisiveness!"

The boys chuckled and raised theirs. "To openness," said FDR. "May we all be proud to be ourselves no matter _what_ anyone else thinks."

"To loyalty," said Tuck. "And to hell with monogamy. I love you _both_."

"Me too."

"Hear, hear!"

Glasses clinked around their perfect triangle.


End file.
